Hooters, Coming Out And Reality Shows

So it's like this. I have found that I may be gay! I don't think I am but I found myself making comments as if I were one of my few gay friends while watching The Bachelor on television recently. I was aghast that the young man starring in this so-called “Reality Show” could not see the manipulative bitch in one of the girls on the show. I was commenting on the issue to my wonderful Fiancee (a woman) when it struck me that I sounded just like a gay male talking about one of his friend's lovers! I had to laugh and then asked my sweetheart if I sounded “gay” to her while making the comments. She looked up from the laptop with which she was using to play a computer game and said, “......No?.....” After which a huge grin crossed her face. She continued, “You are not, in any way, gay!” I must admit her comment did little to comfort me but served only to disturb my calm even more. Truth be told? I am not, in point of fact, gay. I only sound gay sometimes.

I admit to being addicted to certain reality based programming such as the aforementioned as well as things like Cops and Survivor. I don't like many of the other ones and don't understand why. I suppose you could say that I'm a little strange that way. My Fiancee tells me I'm strange in a lot of ways but that's beside the point.

Why does it have to be that a heterosexual male cannot display emotion as a rule? I was an only child and very close with my Mother. I learned from her how to stay in touch with my emotions. I learned from her that it was alright for a man to cry and to show that he was hurt emotionally. I learned from her that strength came from accepting and understanding my emotions. So what happened to the majority of other men in this world?

Most Blue-Collar men in this country hardly ever hug. A shaking of the hand is more than some are comfortable with doing for the most part. Hugs and kisses, some even on the lips, is an accepted practice in many other cultures. This type of contact does not make someone gay! Here, however, men as a majority tend to strut around as if they were the bantam rooster ruling the yard. No more than a hand-shake for no longer than a second is the routine. If you see one man hugging another and saying, “I love you” as they part ways, you assume they are related in some way or gay. This sort of practice is acceptable for females and is quite common.

I am a man who likes to fish, hunt, play golf and I also enjoy many other “Manly” activities. Here's the rub. I have male friends who I hug when I visit them. I hug them again when departing from their company then tell them I love them. I can find no shame in doing so. I do love my friends and don't mind touching them. I just have no desire to touch them “down there” and would have a cow if they did that to me! These are men who love to talk about the female physique and are rather the braggarts when it comes to their sexual prowess with the women. Me? I'm one of those guys too. I don't think a 'Gaynometer' would even move if any of us were hooked up to one. Let me interject a query here. Do you think I'd ever say, “No” to going out to Hooters? I think not! The food is great! (Being engaged; isn't this what I'm supposed to say?) The girls in their outfits make me want to stay and enjoy a nice long beer or leisurely cup of coffee after the meal!

Speaking of sounding gay. I once knew a young man in High School who was teased constantly about being “queer”. He was one of my better friends. He never complained or said otherwise but would only grin when someone teased him about it. I had been invited over to his house for lunch one day and afterward found myself sitting just inside his garage talking as we watched the traffic go by on the street. We both were enjoying the fellowship when he suddenly became very quiet and his smile faded to a sullen line harshly drawn across his face. He began to speak in almost a whisper with his head down and gaze on the concrete on which we sat. “You know?” he began, “I'm not queer. I just let every body think I am.” This unsolicited admission rattled me. I sat there with mouth open not quite knowing what to say. “I only act this way because I can get all the dirt on all the girls.” he continued “That way I know which ones put out!” I sat there both shocked and envious of him. He began to name a few of the girls he'd had physical relationships with and I found myself becoming angry because many of them were fantasies of mine!

It was at that moment I became a member of a very elite club. The few who knew he wasn't gay! I later had conversations with some of the girls he'd “known” and they confessed he was an extraordinary lover but had been sworn to secrecy as I had been. I cannot recall any other boys that ever knew my friend was not gay but I still remember the girls who knew! I decided back then to never pass judgment on any man or woman because they acted or sounded gay. My “gay” friend from school? He's been happily married to a woman for many years and has a family now. I spoke to him recently on the phone and he still does sound a little on the more feminine side of testosterone but I'll bet he still laughs about his conquests when he was younger.

The Moral of the story? Just because I may sound gay from time to time or hug my male friends and tell them I love them doesn't mean you should accept or assume that I am gay. Besides! I suppose occasionally sounding gay has certainly played a part in getting me close to certain women in my past. (It should be noted here that I wear a huge grin on my face.) Close indeed!

Post Script: I love you, Laurie!